Educating to Eradicate Violence from the Society
We all know someone who isn’t in a happy relationship, and while it is okay to make a mistake and choose to settle down with the wrong person, it is not okay to endure endless suffering at the hands of a perpetrator. Domestic violence relates to the abuse meted out to a partner or somebody who an individual cohabits. Most of us assume physical abuse as domestic abuse the term, in reality, branches out to several other types, i.e. emotional, verbal, economic, sexual, social, and spiritual and the likes of it. For the uninitiated, these are what commonly come under the periphery of domestic violence.
1) Emotional Abuse:
This is probably one of the most common types of violence. In simple terms, a partner who engages in emotional abuse uses manipulative methods to control or rather, keep tabs on their partner. It includes everything from spying on them, surprise visits to their office or at home, to recording their calls and reading messages in addition to withholding their rights to call or message someone. Emotional abusers often play around with the victim’s (here, the spouse) weaknesses. Victims in emotionally abusive relationships are made to believe by their harasser that they are not good enough to live on their own which in turn, leads to an unhealthy dependency of the former on the latter. The targets threatened with dire consequences like potential harm to kids, pets or parents.
2) Economic Abuse:
Money handling is a dirty and dicey game. Couples who are financially independent are the healthiest. On the other hand, if a partner curbs the right of the other to take up a job, earn, or pushes him/her to submit their pay to them without consent, it is a clear case of economic and financial abuse. Women often fall prey to this kind of abuse. If you are an employed individual and yet do not have access to your money and need to approach your partner and seek his approval for the smallest basic needs, you might want to consider where the relationship is heading seriously.
3) Sexual Abuse:
This is a no-brainer. Most married women are compelled to feel that offering sex is a responsibility. If your spouse forces upon you, or controls or pressures you into indulging in sexual activities without giving much regard to whether you are ‘ready’ or ‘comfortable’; it is a red flag. Sexual abuse also refers to withholding sex or compelling someone to have sex with someone they are not comfortable. Marital rape, molestation, and forced sex are some of the most common aspects of sexual abuse.
4) Social Abuse:
We all know of a frenemy, the one who pretends to be your friend, but betrays you from behind. Now, imagine that friend as a spouse. You get the picture right? Social abusers often tend to verbally bully, insult or harass their spouses in public, intimidating them and often stripping them of basic dignity. Partners on the receiving end of such abuse are commonly known to be insulted and humiliated in front of guests, children or even at public places.
5) Spiritual Abuse:
Everyone has the right to choose their faith and religion. Getting pulled up, criticized, or even tortured emotionally or verbally for accepting a particular religion is what comes under spiritual abuse. Manipulators (spouses in this case) tend to make the victim feel powerless to persuade them to choose the religion they wish for their partner to follow.
How to Combat Abuse
Easier said than done, people in abusive relationships find it hard to understand that they are in a wrong relationship in the first place. That aside, to seek for help becomes a social stigma and is often done with complete privacy. But, help is not too far away. Here are some of the useful tips to keep in mind to save yourself immediately.
1) Find a Confidant:
It could be an old friend, a trusted relative or even your office best friend. Someone who you can share episodes of harassment and who understands the situation can make a world of difference. If this is becoming a recurring affair, you will need to move out. Choose to live with a friend you trust and can protect you. Changing your current toxic environment is crucial for your mental health and physical well-being. Pay for the accommodation if you have to, but move out.
2) Call the Cops:
The police exists to save you. Getting in touch with the police is the best way to protect yourself legally and physically. You can also head to the nearest police station to understand more about the territory support lines, and emergency helpline numbers.
3) Know your Rights:
It is the 21st century, and with technology comes unlimited access to forums and groups that indeed do an impeccable job of getting people rescued from absolutely harrowing situations. Ensure you sign up, register and contact the admins of such groups. Also, begin to Google search to be informed more about your rights and the privileges you can avail in such situations. There are a few important domestic violence laws. Ensure you are aware of and make use of it. Many women’s commission and NGOs work extensively towards helping women avail these laws.
4) Be Aware:
A lot of women are known to make amends, accept forgiveness in exchange for expensive gifts, luxe holidays, which are often cover-ups to keep the relationship going. Be aware that you deserve respect, and do not compromise on that. Keep checking with the on-crisis hotlines, and also let someone in the family know.